Ray Alejandro Lopez
by Jet MacLeod
Summary: Santana has been doing everything right until everything went wrong and somehow she ended up moving in with Rachel again. She could see it happening but she couldn't stop. Even her friends with the NYPD didn't understand it. But, when a certain Broadway singer sets her sights on something, it's bound to happen. SVU crossover, trigger warnings due to that.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

She always thought that she was a badass. She'd ruled high school. She'd made her way in New York. She was a fuckin' ADA with NYC. She'd gotten out of the cow town and made something of herself. Which is why she wasn't sure how she got where she was. Looking around the room, her eyes went wide at the sterile environment.

She didn't know how she'd ended there, but she knew that she didn't want to be there. The nurses kept talking to her as she kept working. Never stopping and never stepping out of her sight, the nurse continued to collect what she needed. She watched the woman as she moved around her. There was nothing she could in that moment. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. Her body was numb. She was lost.

And, then she walked in. She knew who she was as soon as she saw her. If it had been anyone else, she'd've kicked her out. But, she couldn't. They were friends, sort of. They were co-workers. But, she knew that the detective before her was there for a reason and for once it wasn't to give her a disposition. She let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding.

"What do you need me to do?" the detective asked her.

Looking at her with those dark eyes, she could see the pain and determination in the detective's own dark eyes. Her eyes closed. Tears that she'd willed to stop started flowing again, silently and slowly down her stained cheeks. Opening them, the detective was beside the bed, whispering things and she couldn't follow along. Her brain stopped.

"Statistics say that..."

"Not now, don't talk about that now," the detective told her.

"Why not? I know what it's like. I've prosecuted these cases. Now, I am just another statistic, Benson. You can't stop that."

"No, I can't. But, I can catch the sonuvabitch that did this to you. Alex is already at the station. When we heard..."

"She's where?"

"Working with Barba and the rest of the team."

"Why?"

"Why not?" Benson questioned.

Next thing she knew, she was standing and the nurse was taking pictures. Her body was being documented, every tattoo, every injury, every scar. She took the scrubs that the nurse handed her and slowly dressed behind a curtain. She had no dignity now. She had no self-worth. She was broken, battered and damaged.

"We aren't going to rest until we get him. You should know that. It doesn't matter who you are. We won't stop."

"What's the point? He'll get off with a light sentence and just go do it again. And, I'll be vilified in the press. I can read the headline now. SUV ADA Raped. What is the City supposed to do with that? What are the victims supposed to do? How can they trust me? If I couldn't protect myself, how will I be able to protect anyone else?" she called from the curtain.

Benson looked at the nurse as she closed the rape kit. She knew that her friend was hurting. It was tearing her apart. When she'd gotten the call, she flew out of her apartment to the hospital. Thankfully, the responding officer knew who she was and called immediately. Alex heard enough to go straight to the station. The Manhattan SUV team was already on the scene and working the case. They knew how critical the first twenty-fours were.

Benson looked around the room. She'd been there too many times before, but this was the first time that she thought she was there for one of her own. She knew from the text she got seconds before that Alex was outside. They didn't know what to do. They wanted to help their friend, but everyone acted differently. They didn't know if she'd take the help. They didn't know if she'd...

"What do you want to know?" she asked Benson as she came around the curtain.

"Do you want to go somewhere else to do this?"

"Not the precinct."

"Of course."

"Another room? Here? The chapel?" she asked.

"If you want, sure," Benson told her.

"Am I good?" she asked the nurse.

"Yes, ma'am," the nurse said, her voice laced with pity.

She couldn't take it. She needed to be out of that room. She'd been there before, but this time... She couldn't stay. She wanted to run, but knew that it would solve anything. She knew that she needed to stand up to her attacker. She knew that it was going to be an uphill battle. Rape cases always were.

"I feel disgusting," she told Benson.

"I know."

"Alex is outside, isn't she?"

"Yes."

"Figures."

"You're her protege. Did you think that she would let you do this alone? Neither of us will," Benson told her.

"Can we go now?"

"Yeah," Benson replied quietly.

She took the offered hand that Benson gave her. The flip flops they gave her sucked. She knew that she would never see the outfit that she was wearing again. She honestly didn't want it back. It was soiled. It was evidence. It meant nothing to her anymore.

Alex took her other hand as they walked through the hospital. She let them lead the way. She vaguely heard Benson say chapel and Alex took the lead. Making their way to a bank of elevators, they rode up to the second floor. It didn't take long before they were seated in the front pew.

She stared at the cross. She tried to look at Alex, but she couldn't. To see the pity and sadness in the other counselors eyes would make her break. And, she never broke. Now, she was already broken. She knew that the pieces of her life lied around NYC now. Part of her in a box headed to the lab. Part of her in bags that contained her clothes, heading to the station to be processed for evidence. Her heart was inside her body, but her mind was still in an ally downtown.

"I know that you don't want to..."

"I know that you have to know, Benson."

"I know."

"Where do you want to start?"

"I don't know," she answered.

"What is the last thing you remember before it happened?"

"That's a loaded question," she replied.

"Before the ally, where were you?"

"I'd gone to Broadway."

"To see a show?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, an old friend landed a staring role. I've been so hard at work that I haven't taken anytime for myself, let alone anyone else. When I saw the reviews and that she was the headliner, I knew that I had to go. Since I wasn't on call this weekend, for once, I figured I'd go to the Saturday show. I bought tickets, a new dress, and planned my evening."

"You went alone?"

"I met an old friend."

"That friend have a name?" Alex inquired.

"Yeah."

"San..." Benson pushed.

"Quinn Fabray."

"And, she saw it with you?"

"She did."

"But, you split up after the show?" Alex questioned.

"Yes, she had to be up early tomorrow for some meeting with her editors and shit. I was planning on meeting her in the afternoon to help her review her contracts. I was hungry, so I decided to head back towards my loft. I would just get something on the way."

"I take it, you didn't make it," Benson stated more than asked.

"No."

"Do you remember where you were attacked?"

"No."

"Okay. What else do you remember?"

"I was walking down Broadway back towards my loft. I was heading towards Times Square Diner and Grill. I don't remember getting there."

"Okay, what theatre were you at?" Alex asked as she watched Benson taking notes.

"The Gershwin," she answered.

"Who's your friend performing there?" Benson asked.

"Doesn't matter. She doesn't know anything about this. I don't..."

"San...We aren't going to ask her anything. We're just trying to piece your night together. Just..."

"Who is Quinn to you?"

"An old friend and a client."

"Client?"

"Yeah, I majored in entertainment law along with criminal law at Columbia. I have a lot of famous friends. I work for them on my own time. I've represented most of them for years. I did it even before I started working for the City."

"And, how did I not know about this?"

"Because I don't let it interfere with my work. They come to my loft, generally, after hours. Entertainment is a twenty-four hour business. I keep weird hours, but I'm there for them anytime they need me. Besides, the pay is good."

"I'd say," Benson replied.

"Look, I doubt that has anything to do with it."

"Have any of your clients made any threatening gestures towards you?"

"Not since high school," she replied.

"How many clients do you have?"

"Besides Quinn?"

"Yes," Alex said.

"Well there's Mike, Brittany, Mercedes, and Rachel."

"Four?"

"Five with Quinn."

"Any one else we should know about?"

"The only other person in common is Tina. She's their manager and agent. And, then Kurt and Blaine...well, they dress us," San replied.

"Why do I feel like I should know all these people?" Benson inquired.

"Because you do, but you don't know that you do," she stated.

"How did you end up in the ally?"

"I don't know."

"What do you remember?"

"I was walking. I felt something on my arm. Next thing, I know I am in the ally. I don't know what street. I don't know where I am. Something hits my head and then black. I woke up and came stumbling out. A beat cop saw me, recognized and brought me here in a bus."

"Who?"

"Sanchez...Victoria Sanchez," she replied.

"Know her?"

"Worked with her on some cases, yes."

"So Sanchez saw you and brought you in."

"Yes."

"Who asked for the rape kit?"

"I did."

"Why?"

"Because..."

"You need to tell us," Alex said as she reached over and took her hand.

"My vagina hurt. I felt violated. I wasn't just robbed and clobbered over the head. More happened, I just wasn't awake for it."

"How long do you think you were out?" Benson asked.

"No more than a few minutes. The clock in the ER said it was just after midnight. The show got out at eleven, so..."

"Okay, that helps. Do you remember seeing anything else? Feeling anything? Smell anything?"

"This is New York. I could smell trash. I got grabbed and then I was knocked out."

"Okay, Alex is going to take care of your credit cards and IDs and such first thing this morning. I'll put traces on them all. We'll find out who did this."

"Okay," she replied as she pulled her hands away from them.

They watched as she walked over to the prayer rail in front of the chapel's small alter. She knelt down and crossed herself. Benson's heart broke as soon as she heard the words leaving her mouth.

"Hail Mary, full of grace..." she started quietly as she prayed.

"Liv, we can't leave her alone tonight."

"I know that, Alex, but I doubt that she'll let us take her home with us."

"Then we convince her."

"Maybe we can call someone to stay with her."

"Or she could go stay with Quinn?"

"NO," she said turning around.

"What?"

"Absolutely no one is to know about this."

"San..."

"None of them can know."

"You need to be with someone tonight."

"I'll be fine."

"San..."

"No."

"San..."

"Who is your emergency contact?"

" _Dios Mio...mierda de mierda._ "

"San..."

"She's going to be here anyway...Fuck!"

"Who?"

Just then the doors burst open and the whirlwind that was Rachel Berry was standing in them. They all turned to look at her. Alex stood up slowly, looking from the petite brunette in the doorway to the broken woman at the alter rail.

"Santana?" she asked quietly as she walked up the aisle.

"Not now, Berry."

"San..."

"No, absolutely not. I am not going with her. I can't."

"What happened?" Rachel asked as she looked from the detective, to the ADA and back to Santana still kneeling in scrubs.

"San tell her," Alex implored.

"No."

"Okay, so don't tell her, but let her stay with you tonight."

"No."

"Santana Christina Lopez, what the fuck happened to you tonight?" Rachel inquired in full diva mode.

Benson cocked an eyebrow at the woman. Alex looked like she wanted to laugh, but she stifled it. Santana hung her head.

"Berry..." she tried to protest.

"She was attacked," Benson said carefully.

"Where?"

"Doesn't matter," San added quickly.

Looking from the detective to Santana and back again, Rachel took another step forward. She knelt down in front of her and raised her head with her fingers. She looked into her troubled eyes. The pain she saw there broke Rachel's heart.

"You're coming home with me."

"Berry...I'm fine."

"The fuck you are, Satan. You're pushing because you're scared. I can see it. Now, either you can come home with me, or I call everyone come here. Your choice," Rachel told her.

"You wouldn't dare," San challenged her.

Handing her phone to Alex, she looked back at Santana.

"Scroll through my contacts. You'll find a listing called Lima. Start with Quinn Fabray and work your way all the way down to Brittany S. Pierce. There should be about seven or eight numbers to call," Rachel told her.

Santana watched as her former boss started scrolling. Her fingers were hovering over the dial button when she looked back at Santana. Rachel hadn't stopped looking at her.

"Alex...please..." Santana pleaded with the blonde.

"Your choice," Rachel reiterated, firmly.

"Rachel..."

"You come home with me and let me take care of you or call them all in. You did it for me while I was at NYADA. Don't think that I won't do it now. And, I know that Quinn is in town."

"Rach..."

"How long do you think that it would take Mercedes, Sam and Puck to get here from LA?"

"Rae..."

"I need an answer, councilor," Rachel pushed her.

"Fine, I'll stay at your condo."

"Address?" Benson asked.

Rachel reached into the back pocket of the jeans she was in and handed her card to the detective. She didn't say anything else as she moved closer to Santana. Their eyes were still warring with each other.

"You can call that number in the morning and arrange a meeting."

"We'll take you home," Benson stated.

"Nonsense. My car service is downstairs. I just need to get out of the hospital without being seen. Can you arrange that?"

"Yes," Alex said quickly. "And, I'll call Barba. Take a few days, San."

"Do I have choice?"

"No," they all told her.

"Fine."

"Is there something else for her to wear?"

"Not here, no," Benson said with a hint of sorrow.

"Alex?" Rachel asked.

"Yes."

"If you'll go downstairs, just outside the main entrance will be a town car. Please have Simon get my bag and give it to you. Tell him that Maria sent you. He'll know what it means. Detective? We'll need a room."

"I'll arrange it," Benson told her and left the chapel.

"Why, Rachel?"

"Because you need someone, Santana. You don't have to face this alone. You were attacked. And, I am your friend."

She just nodded. She didn't trust her voice anymore. The tears started again and Rachel took her in her arms, rocking her softly.

"It'll be okay, San. I promise. Your friends will find the attacker and deal with it. I promise."

She ran her hands through the Latina's hair as she held her close. She didn't care what happened. All she knew was that she got a call from the hospital saying that Santana had been admitted. She didn't know what happened. It didn't matter. San was hurt and she needed Rachel. That was all that mattered. They could deal with the rest of it in the morning...later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It had been a few weeks since the attack and Santana was back at work. She would get regular visits from Alex and Benson. The two usually came together and if Santana didn't already know, she would have assumed that they were together. She let it go though. She was getting passed it. She was a survivor. She refused to be called a victim. She knew that she was strong. This was just going to make her stronger.

She thought about the night that she spent with Berry. It hadn't been all that bad, but she didn't want to repeat it. How she managed to keep the facts of the attack from her was a miracle in itself, but she knew that if Rachel dug enough, she'd find out. For now, she wasn't pushing and for that, Santana was grateful. She little powerhouse still demanded that Santana come see her on Mondays because they were her day off. She honestly didn't have a choice. If she didn't go to Berry's condo, the petite singer would just show up on her doorstep at the loft.

She sighed as she looked over the notes for a case she was working on. It was a particularly nasty one, but it seemed like it would be easy enough to prosecute. They had so much damning evidence that it would take an archangel to free the man. And, God-willing, He wouldn't send one to help. She was glad that she learned to detach a little with each case. She didn't see the victims as people, but evidence. The people she went after were monsters. The victims were only human when they were on the stand telling their stories. She had to do this or she would have quit years ago. But, now it was different. She was humanizing them all. She couldn't help it. She was now like they were.

She looked over at the clock and realized that Alex would be in soon to talk to her. She knew that it was a weekly check in and check up. Alex wasn't sure that she should have come back to work so soon, but Santana had to. She needed normal. She needed to take back her power and nailing these assholes to the wall was the way she could do that. Alex relented only because she knew that Barba would let her help the younger ADA. Alex would review her cases and make sure that San wasn't going some place that she shouldn't. San didn't like it, but it got her back to work, so she agreed with Barba's stipulation.

It was nearing five and it was Monday. Alex still hadn't made her way down the hall to her office yet. Maybe, she'd get lucky and she wouldn't come. She knew that it was long shot, but she could hope. Deciding to help herself, she closed the files and grabbed her briefcase. She started packing some files away to work on at home when her office door opened.

"Alex, I just want to go home tonight, please," Santana pleaded without looking up at the figure in the doorway.

"Then just go home," Rachel replied as she eyed her friend.

"Rachel?" San asked she turned to face her office door.

She sat her briefcase down on her desk. She couldn't believe that the petite brunette was standing there. She had no reason to be there. Instead of leaving, Santana moved around and leaned against the front of her desk.

"What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Well, you see me," Santana deadpanned.

"San..."

"What is it that you need, Shortstack?"

"How are you?"

"I am fine."

"Are you?"

"Rachel, leave it alone."

"I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"You're my friend, San. Why wouldn't I be worried about you? You were attacked."

"I know that, Rachel. I was there, remember? It is a little hard to forget," Santana told her.

"Are you sleeping?"

"Rachel, leave it alone."

"San...I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I can't," Rachel told her.

Santana was about to say something more when there was a knock on her open door. She looked over to see Alex standing there. She dropped her head. She just watched her early evening walk away from her. She just pointed at the couch next to the door. Alex and Rachel both took a seat. She grabbed one of the chairs in front of her desk and turned it around. She sat down gingerly, which she saw was noted by Rachel, and waited for the interogation to begin.

"Santana, do you need more time off?" Alex asksed her.

"No, I am fine. I just want to work. I need to work."

"I am not saying that you don't, San, but if you need the time or to work different cases..."

"Alex, don't do this. Don't take this from me. I've earned it. I am not going to let some bastard that this from me. If anything he's made me want it more. Please don't make me beg," Santana pleaded.

"I am not. I was just talking with Jack. He's worried about you. We...the senior staff...all are worried about San. You're the youngest ADA we have and you've earned it. We just don't want this to..."

"What? Mar my sensiblities? Cause me to question everything in every case? Look at perp and wonder if it was him? Be afraid of everyone that comes in my door? You can't stop that from happening. No one can. I'm fine. I'm coping. I going to that fucking therapist like you wanted. What more do I need to do to prove to you that I can work? Hell, you won't even let me in the courtroom. YOU'RE trying my cases for me, Alex," Santana damn neared growled.

"I know that, San, but it is only because we're worried about you."

"Has Liv found him yet?"

"No, but they got a hit on the DNA to another case. They are getting those records to compare. I'm going to help Liv and team comb through it."

"Then let me work. I can still prep cases and look over evidence without trying the case. I know you don't want me in a courtroom until you think I can be on my own. I'm fine. Let me work. Give me that. Don't let him take that from me, too," Santana whispered towards the end.

"Fine. Keep working the Addams case. You'll second chair. Depending on how that goes, we'll see about letting you out on your own again. And, San, we aren't doing this to punish you. I hope you know that," Alex told her.

"I do. It's just that..."

"I know. Trust me. I've handled enough of these cases in my day. Go home and rest. I'll meet up with you on Wednesday like normal and we'll go over the Addams case. Work on your opening statement and we'll see how things go, okay?"

"Okay," Santana answered as she tried not to slump a little more in her chair noticably.

"Go home and get some sleep."

"I will," San told her.

Alex stood up. She put a hand on San's knee and gave her a weak smile. She gave Rachel a nod and then was gone. As soon as her door shut, Santana felt like she could actually breathe again.

"Come home with me."

"Rachel, I can't. I have things to do. Cases to review, statements to write, evidence to check, and I can't do any of that at your place."

"Eat dinner with me."

"Rachel..."

"I am going to follow you home," Rachel stated.

"Damn it, Rach. Why can't you just let this go? Why do you have to do this? What did I ever do to you? You know, nevermind. Don't answer that."

"Have you told Quinn?" Rachel asked her.

"Why the fuck would I have told Quinn about it? She's at home in Boston. She's happy. She doesn't need this burden."

"No one does, San, but you are carrying it. I am as well because the hospital called me. I can't forget how you looked. I can't sleep wondering what happened that was so bad that you cut yourself off completely. Hell, I don't even know all the details. I just know that you were attacked. I can't help you if you don't want me to, but I thought we were friends. We are the only two left in New York and we've got to look out for each other."

"I'm fine."

"Damn it, Santana. You were attacked after my show. If I hadn't been performing..."

"It would have been someone else," Santana deadpanned.

"But, it wasn't someone else, San. It was you. I can see how it is effecting you, even if you don't. Please. Come home with me."

"Rachel, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Talk to me, San."

"I just want to get out of here."

"Will you come home with me or do you want to go to your place?"

Santana stood. She grabbed her briefcase and looked down at the shorter brunette. She rubbed her face. She knew that Rachel would just follow her and short of a court order and police escort, Rachel wasn't going to leave her alone. She reached over her desk and grabbed a pair of reading glasses. She put them on her face and stood up to her full height with her five inch heels.

"Isn't your condo closer?"

"I think so."

"Then, that'll be fine. I'll stay for dinner. Then, I am taking a cab home."

"We'll see about that, but come on. I'll make you some fajitas. I know how much you like them," Rachel told her.

Santana cocked an eyebrow, but just shook her head in agreement. The grabbed the door and pulled it open. She motioned for Rachel to go first.

"Why are you here? Don't you have a show tonight or something? You're run isn't over yet, is it?"

"No, it isn't, San, but it's Monday. I don't perform on Monday. The stage is dark tonight."

"Oh," San said as they made their way to the elevator.

Once outside, they grabbed a cab and made their way to Rachel's condo. When they got there, San demanded to pay for the cab. It just made Rachel resolve to find a way for Santana to stay. She didn't like the fact that San was alone while she was hurting. She was worried for the Latina, but she knew that Santana wouldn't ask for help. She'd have to keep offering it and hope that San would finally take her up on the offer.

When they got upstairs, Rachel sent her into her room to change and shower if she wanted while she made dinner. Santana knew that Rachel would bring her something she deemed wearable while she was in the shower. All she wanted to do was wash the day off and start again. She knew that she didn't really have that luxury, but she wanted the warm water to help her relax. She figured the Rachel wasn't going to let her go home if she took a shower, so she better get as relaxed as she could. Turning the water on and stripping down, she climbed into Rachel crazy multi-headed shower and let the water sluice over her body.

She didn't hear Rachel come in the bathroom. She was so lost in the warmth and how it felt against her skin that she didn't care about anything else. She knew that Rachel wouldn't care if she used her strawberry scented shampoo. She reached out and grabbed it, pouring a dollop in her hand. She was busy massaging the lather in her hair when she saw the towel and a small pile of clothes on the vanity. She mentally reminded herself to thank Rachel for the attention later, even if it was unwarranted. She knew that Rachel was going to be worried about her until the after the trial. She couldn't help herself. Rachel was a worrier and now that everyone else was gone and they were the only two left in NYC, she worried more.

She waited until the water ran cold before she shut off the shower. She slowly pulled back the door and grabbed the towel first. She was drying herself when she heard Rachel come back into the bathroom. She looked up to see Rachel peaking around the door.

"Dinner's ready," she said quietly.

"I'll be out in a minute."

"San?"

"Yeah?"

"I worry."

"I know."

"I wish you would tell me what happened," Rachel told her.

"I can't talk about it, Berry."

"I want to help you."

"I know."

"Will you let me?" Rachel asked.

Santana could hear the sadness in her voice. She didn't mean to make her sad, but she didn't want to talk about it. She knew that it wasn't healthy to keep it inside, but she figured that if she said anything about it, it would make it more real. She couldn't really remember most of the attack, so she could just pretend she was like mugged or something. She didn't want to think about it and talking would make her think about it.

"Berry..." she started to say.

She didn't notice that she'd loosed her grip on the towel. She wasn't paying attention to what she was actually covering. She was too busy trying to figure out how she was going to dress because it looked like Rachel wasn't going to let her alone anytime soon. And, while they had changed and been naked in front of each other from glee to living together in the loft with Kurt, this was different. She still felt dirty sometimes and she wanted to hide her body from everyone. She had done a good job of hiding at work by wearing a little bit longer skirts or pants suits instead, but this was Rachel. She knew that she wouldn't be able to hide from her forever. But, not having the towel up exposed more than she thought...it exposed the bruises that no one but Alex, Liv and the nurse had seen.

"San..." her voice broke as she stepped further into the bathroom, decorum be damned.

"What?"

"What happened?" Rachel asked her again, locking eyes with her in the mirror.

"I was attacked," San said quickly hoping it would stop the interrogation...again.

"San..."

"What, Berry?"

"San, you don't get bruises like that from a mugging," she replied quietly.

And, that was it. She broke. She didn't know what else to do. She collapsed, but Rachel was there to catch her.

"Rach..."

"Shh, San, I got you," she told her, holding her closer.

"You can't..."

"I won't, San. I promise. I won't tell anyone."

"I swear if you breath one word of this to anyone..."

"Santana, I won't. It's not my story to tell. But, you need to talk to someone, even if it isn't me."

"I can't."

"You won't, you mean," Rachel stated.

"I don't want it to be real, Rach. I can't let it be real. I can't...I don't remember it. I was knocked out."

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen, San. And, maybe, it's a good thing you don't remember, but you still need to talk to someone. Let me help you."

"I..."

"Just let me in, San. I'll be here for you. I'm not going to abandon you. You did nothing wrong."

"I can't sleep..."

"Then, you'll stay here with me. I'll protect you, San. I'll keep the demons at bay. I promise," Rachel told her as she pulled the naked woman closer. "I'll keep you safe, San. I won't let anyone else hurt. I promise."

San couldn't speak. She just let Rachel rock her on the bathroom floor. She didn't know what else to do. But, she managed to finally get out an "okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Alex sat in her office with FBI profiler Huang. He was old friend and back in town to consulting on some cases. She wasn't surprised to see him in her office. Last time anyone had dealt with him was after his fight with Barba. He sat down and gave her a smile.

"What can I do for you, George?" she asked as she leaned back in her chair.

"I heard that one of the ADAs was attacked."

Alex pulled her glasses off and held them between her fingers. She dropped the pen she was holding on her files and then her glass. She pushed back from her desk just a little bit. She eyed him. She wasn't sure where he was getting his information, but she knew that George still had contacts. She just wondered who broke their silence. They were all trying to protect Santana, so she wanted to know who slipped so they could be disciplined accordingly.

"They were."

"I want to offer my services."

"Your services?" Alex asked him.

"I want to talk to them, Alex. I want to help them through this. I know that I am no one's favorite after everything Barba, but I still think that I am a friend to this office, Alex. If I can help them, I want to. Pro bono. Just let them know. For me. Please."

"I'll ask."

"That's all I can ask of you," he said and stood up. "Here's my card. I'll make sure that it's covered. No one will know, but you, me and them."

"Okay, George."

"And, Alex," he started at the door to her office.

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations with Liv. Long time coming if you ask me, but just remember, I'm an ally, not the enemy. See ya later," he said and walked out the door.

Alex watched him go and wondered what good it would do. She doubted that Santana would go to him willingly. Especially after she broke down a week ago at her friends condo. She called out of work the next day and Alex didn't blame her. She didn't know what to do for her. She wanted to help Santana but she was so cagy, distant and bitchy, that Alex wasn't sure how to even approach the idea. Santana could be so damn prickly that Alex was the only one that really dealt with her on a regular basis. If she wasn't so damn good at her job and getting convictions, Alex was sure that Jack would have already fired her.

There was another knock at her door a few minutes later. She had just gotten back to her evidence file when she heard it. She looked up and saw Liv leaning in her doorway. One hand on her hip as she surveyed Alex and her desk, a smirk on her face, and love dancing in her eyes, Alex couldn't help but smile at her.

"What you doing here, Detective McSexy," Alex teased her.

"I got some information," Liv told her.

"On?"

"The Lopez case," Liv said as she walked in and shut the door.

Alex immediately perked up. She quickly cleared her desk as Liv sat down in front of her and produced a folder. She was proud of Liv's professionalism at the office. They were still trying to protect Santana and her reputation. Barba was even letting Alex handing the case work because she had been at the hospital. He knew that it might look weird in court, Jack assured them that it would be better for Alex to try the case if it went to trial. She didn't work SVU anymore so it would seem more partial on her part in court. It didn't matter that she was Santana's friend and Santana was her protege.

"What do you have?" Alex asked her.

"This," Liv said as she handed her the folder.

It was the results of the rape kit. It had been fast tracked and there was a DNA hit. Alex looked over the paperwork and then back up at Liv.

"Do you think she'll testify?"

"I don't know."

"She's still at Rachel's. I've been trying to give her easy cases, as is Barba. She's just..."

"Not fully ready to be doing this, yet?" Liv asked her.

"Yeah, and I hate it."

"Well, we can't expect her to come back full force, can we? She was attacked and she needs to deal with it. I know that it'll be hard, but she needs to find a way to come to terms with it. She's a survivor. She'll survive this, too," Liv told her.

"I know that."

"Is she seeing anyone?"

"I don't know," Alex told her as she dropped the folder on the desk again. "And, as her boss, I can't legally ask her that. I hope that she is, but we both know that Santana is too strong willed to admit that she needs help. You saw how she was at that hospital."

"I know."

"George came to me earlier," Alex stated as she watched Liv's face.

"What did he want?" Liv asked not even trying to hide her aggravation with the knowledge of her old friend being in to see Alex.

"Look, I know that there is still a little bit of bad blood between Huang and Barba, but he came in peace. He wasn't here to tell me that he was testifying for the defense or anything. He was actually concerned about Lopez, even though he didn't know it was her," Alex explained.

"What?"

"He came to offer his services for the ADA who was attacked."

"How did he found out about it? I thought we had it under wraps. I mean I don't even have the entire SUV team working it. We're keeping this one really close to the vest. Too many people find out and loose lips start wagging."

"Calm down, Liv. He didn't have a name. Just knowledge that something happened. He seemed genuinely concerned. And, he might be a good idea for Santana to see. I just don't know how to arrange it."

"Let me talk to her," Liv suggested.

"Do you think that it'll work?"

"I don't know, but what could it hurt? She knows we care. Did he give you a card or something?" Liv questioned.

"Yeah," Alex said as she looked around her desk until she found it.

She handed it across the desk. Liv took it and looked at it. Her eyes ran over the business card and then realized that Huang had written his personal cell number on it, too. She looked back up at Alex and met her blue eyes. She gave her a weak smile.

"I'll go talk to her. Is she still in her office?" Liv asked.

"I don't know. I can call her, ask her to come up here, if you want. Do you want to wait here?"

"Yeah, call her up. I want her to look over her own evidence. She might have something to add. I know that it isn't exactly how we should do things, but you have to admit that she makes a good witness even if she was blacked out at the time," Liv stated.

"She does, but don't tell her that. She'd get mad or think that she wasn't doing enough. We don't need to push her so much, but we need to push her at the same time. Hold on for me. I'll call her and then give you the room. Sound good?" Alex inquired.

"Yeah," Liv answered.

Alex picked up her desk phone and called down into Santana's office. She was only a floor down, but Alex was worried that she might have already gone. She knew that Santana was working odd hours lately, but she couldn't complain about her work ethic. Santana was still closing cases as fast as she had before, but there seemed to be a lack of enthusiasm as before. Alex understood it, but she was still scared for her friend. She'd seen way too much of situations like Santana's before and she didn't want San to become a statistic even more than she already was.

Santana actually answered the phone. Alex spoke to her briefly and she agreed to come up to her office after she finished the file she was working on. Alex just told her it was to review a case file, but she didn't tell her which one. Normally, she would have expected Santana to question her, but she hadn't. It was something else that caused Alex's worry to ramp up.

"She coming?"

"Yeah, as soon as she's done with the file she's been working on. She didn't ask me about the case, though. She just told me that she'd be up soon. She's checking out at work, Liv."

"I know, baby. We'll take care of her. She's one of our own. We'll make sure that she's okay. We'll get her the help she needs. Besides, I've got an in on that front," Liv told her.

"Rachel?"

"Yup."

"Good," Alex stated.

There was a knock at the door. Liv stood up and opened it. She moved to let Santana in. She could see the look in Santana's eyes when she realized that Alex wasn't alone.

"What's this, Alex?"

"San..."

"No, what's going on?"

"Lopez, take a seat," Liv said as she shut the door and then moved to Alex's couch.

Santana gave her a throw back HBIC glare, but she took a seat in front of Alex's desk anyway. She started to feel like she was back in Figgins' office. She knew that Alex wasn't her principle and this wasn't school, but ever since the attack, Santana had been back on guard. Her old HBIC persona had come back and then only one that seemed to completely get through it was Rachel. But, Rachel wasn't there. Alex and Liv were. They were friends. They cared about her. They were trying to help her and somewhere in her brain she knew that she needed to let them, but she just couldn't. Santana was good about taking care of herself. She was a master of it. She didn't need anyone else to lean on.

"Relax, San."

"Yeah, like that is going to happen. What case are you looking at? One of mine? Something wrong with it?"

"Well, it is your case."

"Which one?" Santana questioned again, letting her irratation flare a little more.

"Not a case you're working, Santana. It's your case. I wanted to let you look it over," Alex told her as she held up the folder.

Santana completely deflated. Her back hit the back of the chair hard. She closed her eyes and pulled off her glasses. Setting them on Alex's desk, she took a deep breath and tried to stop her racing heart. When she opened her eyes, Liv was sitting beside her and Alex was leaning over her desk. She shook her head and started to push back. They could see it in her eyes.

"I'm not trying to upset you, San. I promise. Liv just brought me the file. I'm going to try the case and I'm going to try to keep you out of the courtroom if I can, but you know it might be hard. We're doing everything that we can to find this bastard, but we still need to talk to you about it."

"I don't want to talk about it. There's no point. I don't remember anything. He hit me over the head or something. Big not and blood, remember?"

"I know that, San. You've kept to your story beautifully. You haven't wavered since the beginning. You've done really well with this, considering..."

"I know."

"Look, I just want you to look at a picture and tell me if you know who he is."

"Who who is?"

"We got a hit."

"A hit?"

"The DNA came through. We got a hit on a serial rapist. He isn't from New York, so it took a little longer. I just want to know if you remember seeing him."

"I can't."

"Why not?" Liv asked her.

"Because I can't identify him. If you show me the picture, then I'll pick him out. It would jeopardize the case," San argued.

"San...we've got it on record that you never saw his face during the attack. The DNA puts him there. It was on you and in you. We need to know if you had dealings with him before the attack. Just because you didn't see his face during the attack doesn't mean it wasn't him, but I need to be able to plausibly state that you had no relations with him prior to that night," Alex explained.

"I haven't had relations with a man since I was in high school," Santanta told them.

"Be that as it may, you know how the defense will try to say that it was consentual. We need every bit of information that we can to make sure that we nail him. DNA is just the beginning. If you can place him near the scene, or if you can say you saw him in the time leading up to the attack, we can get him for it. It would have been premeditative."

"I know that Alex, but I don't want to taint the case."

"How would you acknowledging if you saw him taint the case? What about that night didn't you tell us? Is there something that we should know?" Liv probed.

"Nothing like that. I went to the show with Quinn. She's my best friend from high school. She was in town for a book thing. I wasn't really paying attention to anything around me. I was just walking to the diner to get some food. I was hungry. I made sure that Quinn got in a good cab and was headed back to her hotel before I left the theatre. I don't remember getting pulled into the allyway, but I must have. I hadn't but one drink at the show during intermission. I had one glass of wine with Quinn. The next thing I remember was a patrol officer standing over me and then the ambulance. Next thing is the both of you at the ER. I was only going three blocks. It shouldn't have been so hard."

"I know, San. I know. But, can you look at the picture?"

San finally nodded. Alex pulled out the rapsheet and showed Santana the mug shot of her assailant. San grabbed her glasses and looked at the picture harder.

It was a older man. He was probably in his fourties or early fifties. Slightly graying and heavily built. San realized that she hadn't stood a chance with his musculature. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them and look at the picture again. He had a buzz cut and a hard look in his grey-blue eyes. She couldn't place him. She hadn't seen him. She didn't think that she'd ever run across him that day.

"I didn't see him."

"Okay," Alex said taking back the picture.

"San?"

"What, Liv?" she asked as she turned to face the detective.

Mahogany eyes met almost black eyes. They softened and Liv wished that she could take San's pain. She was like that with all her victims, but she knew that she couldn't. They had to find way to go on and find their inner strength again.

"I have a friend that I want you to talk to," Liv told her.

"A friend?"

"He's a good friend."

"He?"

Liv pulled out Huang's card and handed it to her. San took it and looked it over. She was about to tear it up, when Liv stopped her with a hand on each of hers.

"Look. I know that you are some big bad ass from Lima Heights or whatever, but this isn't Ohio, San. This is New York. This city will eat you alive if you let it. George is a good guy, even if I don't always agree with him."

"Didn't he have some beef with Barba?" San asked.

"He did, but don't worry about that. He's a doctor first. He's objective and he doesn't know you. He's offered his services because it was an ADA that was attacked. He won't know it was you unless you call him. Hell, he won't know who you are if we can help it. Give him a try. He might help you. Talk to him. It isn't an order, but I would like to think that you'd call him. Just meet with him once. You don't have to make it a regular thing if you don't want and knowing Huang, he'll come to you. I know that he has a practice here in town now, but he's will to help, San...pro bono," Alex told her.

"I'll think about it."

"Thank you," Alex stated.

"Can I go?"

"Yeah, but call me later if you need to. I'll be up working on cases anyway. And, remember that we still got your back Lopez," Liv told her.

They watched her leave. Liv let out a big breath and then looked up at her lover. She gave her a weak smile.

"Do you think that she'll call?" Liv asked her.

"No...but we tried."

"Ready to go home?"

"Let me pack up and we can go."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Santana sat at the table and rolled the business card over and over through her fingers. She'd pulled away from Rachel again and was living back in her apartment. She'd been quiet, too quiet she knew and she knew that Alex meant well. But, she didn't think that she was ready to talk to anyone yet. It was still too raw. She knew that it would probably be better for her to talk to someone, but she just couldn't.

She'd been good and leaving her cases at work. It helped keep the nightmares at bay. She didn't know if that was really it or if her mind was still trying to process something that she couldn't remember. She knew that the cases were giving her ideas and fodder for her dreams, but she also knew that sleeping at Rachel's kept her more grounded. She wasn't sure if it was the little dynamo Star that was helping or the fact that time was just passing. She hoped that it was time, because she didn't want to be attached to Rachel any longer than she had to be.

Her phone rang and she grabbed it off her coffee table. She looked over at the TV, which was off, and then at the caller ID. She saw that it was Quinn. She knew that she couldn't ignore the call. It was too late in the day to do that and she knew that Quinn would just keep calling. And if she ignored Quinn long enough, she knew that somehow Brittany would be involved and she'd start calling, too.

"Hey," Santana said as she answered her phone.

"What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"We were supposed to meet the next morning. Your never called or showed up for breakfast and then Rachel called me a few days later and said there was an accident or something. What the fuck is she doing calling me about it and not you? I think I've given you enough time to figure it out and call me. So spill."

Santana couldn't help but laugh. She knew that Quinn was really calling to fish for information. She knew that if Rachel told her anything it wouldn't have been much. Honestly, it was because Rachel didn't know much about it in the beginning and now that she did, she doubted that Rachel would ever break her trust to even tell Quinn what really happened.

"I don't think it's funny, San. What happened? Are you gonna tell me?" Quinn asked.

"Calm your tits, Tubbers, and I'll tell you."

"You don't have to be a bitch about it," Quinn quipped.

"Sure, I do. It's my job, remember? I'm the HBIC while you're the Queen Bee," Santana replied.

"Whatever. Tell me what happened or I'll show up. And, you know, I'll come with reinforcements."

"Leave B out of this."

"Then talk."

Santana huffed. She looked around her living room and then her apartment. She was trying to ground herself, because...because she knew that she was about to tell Quinn the truth. She knew that she wouldn't be able not to. Quinn was her oldest friend and it sucked that she was living in Boston.

"Please don't freak out."

"San..." came the warning and plea in one.

"I was attacked on my way home from the play that night. I was in the hospital and then at Rachel's when you were trying to reach me. She probably told you as much as she could get out of me before I shut down. I forgot that I still had her listed as who I wanted to be notified and that she had a limited medical proxy for me. Thankfully, by the time she made it to the hospital, I was awake and trying to leave."

"She threatened to call all of us if you didn't go with her, didn't she?"

"Yes," San replied quietly.

"Typical. But, you're okay, right? No lasting damage or anything like that? Nothing we need to be worried about? You're okay and I don't need to come up there this weekend to check on you?" Quinn questioned.

"Now that is a loaded question."

"San...what is it?"

"Physically, I'm fine."

"But?" Quinn pushed.

"Mentally...it's a different story all together."

"Why do I have a feeling that I'm coming up there this weekend regardless of what you tell me? And, why do I also have the feeling that Rachel doesn't really know everything about the attack? What haven't you told her? Or, the police, or whatever?"

"Quinn..."

"No, you tell me now, or I'm getting in my car, grabbing my laptop and I'll be there tonight."

"Don't."

"No, San. We promised. We promised that we wouldn't do this after graduation. We promised that we wouldn't suffer anything alone because of what happened with Beth, and then Finn, and then Puck. You are not going to shut us out. We are your family. We became a family because of glee and all the shit we went through. Are you going to let all that go just because you were attacked? I don't think so. Just tell me what the fuck happened," Quinn demanded.

She sighed again. She knew that this time it was a little more dramatic and a little more drawn out, but she didn't care. She also knew that Quinn meant her threat. She would be in New York that night if she didn't give her more. And, she also knew that Quinn was right. She needed to tell someone. Who better than her? She took a deep breath.

"San?"

"I'm still here."

"San...what is it?" Quinn asked her, quietly.

San realized then that Quinn was really worried. She wasn't just trying to get information. She was frightened for her friend.

"I was..."

"Just tell me. Rip off the band aid. I'm here for you," Quinn told her.

"I know. Trust me, I know. So, I was attacked as I was walking home from the theatre," she started and then barrelled thru the rest because she was afraid that if she didn't, she would never tell anyone else ever again. "I got pulled into an alleyway near the diner I was heading to get dinner. I was knocked into a brick wall and blacked out. I was mugged and evidently raped. I don't remember any of it. A patrol officer that I've worked with before saw me and called it in. She stayed with me until I got to the hospital. That's when my mentor and her wife, a SVU detective came to handle my case. The officer called them personally. Rachel was called before I woke up."

"San..." she could hear the tears in Quinn's voice.

"I'm fine, Q."

"The fuck you are. No one is fine after something like that, S. You know that. You prosecute that assholes for a living. Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying, Q. I am fine...at least physically. Mentally, my brain is trying to kill me some days, I think."

"I would imagine so. Do you want me to come back to the City? I can be there tonight. I wasn't kidding about that."

"No, the Midget will get mad if you do. She's taken to caring for me for whatever reason. She'll probably be over here later tonight. She's been giving her understudy some stage time. Two nights a week just so she can come stay with me or something. I didn't ask her to and I'm afraid that it'll hurt her reputation if she wants to get a new show," Santana told her.

"I doubt that will hurt her any. She's already a darling of Broadway. They aren't going to let her go without her telling them she's retiring. Don't worry about Berry. I'll call her. I'll tell her I'm coming to stay with you for a few days. That way you get a break from her," Quinn stated.

"Quinn, I don't want you changing your life for me."

"S, I'm an author. I don't have a life. I write about it. I can do whatever I want. If I want to spend some time in New York, I can do that. I honestly just stayed in Boston after graduation because I could and I already was renting the Brownstone. I don't have to stay here. I could just as easily move to NYC. I didn't because I didn't need to."

"You still don't."

"San..."

"No, Q. I am not a charity case. I'll be okay. I just need time."

"And friends to help pick you up on the bad days," Quinn replied.

"I know that, but today wasn't a bad day," she stated firmly.

"San..."

"Yeah?"

"What if I told you that I wanted to see for myself?"

"Q..."

"I won't tell anyone, San. I promise. I just...I want to see for myself that you are okay. If you want let me come tonight, I'll come this weekend. We'll hang out. Eat ice cream and watch bad horror movies. Just humor me, please. I need to do this."

"Why?"

"Because I know...I know what it is like to be alone when everything is crumbling around you," Quinn almost whispered into the phone.

"I should have been there for you then, Q..."

"It was high school, S. There is nothing to forgive. We were both horrible to each other. Honestly, I am not sure if we hadn't joined glee, if we wouldn't have killed each other. I need to see you to appease my own conscience. Please."

"Fine, this weekend, but not before."

"That'll give a few days to make yourself look human again. Don't, San. I can tell you aren't sleeping. I can hear it in your voice. Did you forget who you're talking to? I know more about you than your own parents. Now, I'll see you Friday afternoon. I'll meet your at your office and don't try to duck out on me. If you do, I'll call Brittany and tell her everything. And, then all of glee will descend on NYC just for you. Don't doubt that," Quinn told her.

"I don't. I'll wait for you there. Don't be too later and mind all the construction."

"I will, don't worry."

"Quinn," San said.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No problem. I love you. See ya Friday."

"Yeah, I love you, too. See ya Friday, Q. Have a safe trip," Santana told her.

She was putting her phone back on the table when Rachel came in through her apartment door. She wasn't sure when, but she knew she had to have given the smaller woman a key to her place. Thinking back on it, she had a key to Rachel's, too, even if they didn't see each other that often. She knew that it had more to do with their personalities than their schedules. They could make something work if they wanted to, but they were living their lives and trying to respect each other's boundries to try harder. Now, Rachel was slowly worming her way into Santana's life more fully and it didn't look like she was leaving anytime soon. Santana just sighed as she watched her come in like she owned the place, but she couldn't help but smile at it, too.

"Hey," Rachel called as she sat her keys down in the bowl by the door.

She continued further into the apartment, dropping her light jacket and purse on the table. She sat a set of bags down on the table as well. Santana couldn't tell what it was, but she could smell that it was food. She watched as Rachel went straight into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of wine and opened it. While she was letting it breathe, she grabbed some plates and utensils. Coming back to the table, she set it quickly, before heading back into the kitchen. She came back with the bottle and two wine glasses. Santana just sat on her couch and watched her.

"Hey," Santana finally answered.

"You okay?"

"Quinn called."

"She did?"

"Yeah."

"So?"

"She's coming to visit this weekend."

"That's good."

"She's worried about me."

"I am, too."

"She told me that she called while I was staying with you."

"She did."

"You never told me."

"It was in your call logs, San. I didn't see the need to tell you. I just figured that you would see it and call her back."

"I didn't."

"I know."

"You told her that I was attacked," San said.

"I did."

"But, you didn't tell that I was..."

"No, I didn't."

"Why not?"

"Because that is personal and I didn't think that you wanted everyone to know. I knew that you were mad enough that your friends from work knew about it. I also knew that you were happy about the fact that the hospital called me. I might not have known immediately what happened, but when I saw the bruises... I wouldn't break your confidence like that, Santana. I would have taken it to the grave for you. If you don't want Quinn, she doesn't need to know," Rahcel explained to her.

"I told her," Santana replied simply.

"That's why she's coming?"

"Yup."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? You aren't the one that hurt me. You've been terribly kind, sheltering and smothering to me since the hospital. Knowing the truth has only made you even more annoyingly so. But, I guess I would rather you know and be here for me than not have you, if that makes any sense," San said.

"It does."

The smell of the food made San feel funny but she was hungry, so she dismissed it. She knew that Rachel was watching to see that she was eating. She didn't want Santana to fall into a depression. San knew that she meant well, but sometimes it was more aggravating than she could tolerate.

"What did you get?" San asked as she pushed down her nausea.

"Thai," Rachel answered quickly as she started to dish out some of the food. "I got you Pad Thai with eggs and rice noodles since you liked mine so much last time. There's no tofu in it. I got Thai Red Curry for me. But, I also got some Coconut Soup, too."

"Sounds great," Santana told her as she started to turn green.

"San, you okay?"

"Just a long day," she stated.

"You sure? You don't look so good. Why don't you go lay down on the couch real quick. I'll get you a damp cloth from the bathroom."

Santana nodded at her as she moved back to the couch and sat down. She stared at her blank TV again as the nausea didn't subside. It fact it got worse when she bent at the waist. She up and running for her other bathroom as Rachel came out of the one just off the living room.

Santana passed her in a blur of red and black. Rachel stood there dumbfounded for a minute with the wet wash cloth in her hand before she realized what happened. When she actually heard Santana begin retching in the other room, she changed her destination from the couch to wait to Santana's in suite bathroom to hold the other woman's hair.

She walked into Santana's room and found the bathroom door shut. She knocked lightly and slowly opened the door. Santana looked like a college student nursing a hangover as she hugged the toilet. Rachel's heart lurched for the Latina. She reached down and pulled her hair back. Finding an elastic, she quickly pulled it back and tied it back at the base of her neck. She rubbed the wash cloth over San's face to help clean her up between spells and to help cool her off.

"You need to call out for tomorrow, San. You don't look good. You should go to the doctor."

"It's nothing, Berry. Promise. Just stress is all. Happens every now and then. I guess talking to Quinn took more out of me than I wanted to admit," Santana told her.

"You're sure?"

"I'll be alright in a few minutes. Just let me deal with this, yeah. Go eat. I'll be out there soon."

Rachel handed the cloth and smiled weakly. She went back the table and waited. A few minutes later, she heard the toilet flush again and the tap turn on. She assumed the Santana was brushing her teeth to get the taste out. She was right and knew it as soon as she saw the Latina, who was now dressed in a WMHS Cheerios t-shirt and a NYU set of sweats.

"So, dinner?" San offered as she sat down.

"Yeah, dinner."

"You're staying tonight, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"No musicals."

"Fine."

"Food and then bed."

"If that's what you want."

"It is," San replied.

"Then, we'll revisit the doctor and how you feel in the morning."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Thanks for the food."

"No problem."

And, it wasn't. She was worried about Santana. They weren't the greatest of friends, but they weren't enemies. And, Rachel knew that Santana would need a friendly face every now and again just to help her keep the nightmares at bay. She was San's friend and she wanted to protect her, help her, and heal her. But, she could only do what San would allow. For now, dinner and cuddling in bed would have to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

She was sitting on Rachel's couch. She should have known that Rachel and Quinn would have talked since she'd talked to Quinn. It was Friday afternoon and Rachel was in the kitchen cooking, but not getting ready for her show. She'd taken the weekend off, telling the director that she needed a break. It wasn't tourist season really, so they let her with no issues. San wanted to be mad about it, but she knew that Rachel was doing it so that she could spend time with Quinn while she was in town.

Amazingly, Brittany hadn't called. She was afraid that both Rachel and Quinn knowing what happened, that someone would have slipped and told the other blonde. Thankfully, no one had, yet. And, she hoped to keep it that way. She still loved Brittany in her own way, but she wouldn't be able to see the hurt in the blonde's eyes if she came to New York to see her.

Kurt would have driven her insane and she was glad that they moved to LA to work on their fashions. New York wasn't the same without him, but it was a little less flamboyant for her. She loved the City. She loved her friends, but she didn't necessarily love her friends in the City.

She smelled something delicious coming from the kitchen and then realized that Rachel was making her famous vegan spaghetti. Now, that she was a Broadway star, she'd gone back to being mostly vegan. She slipped up sometimes, or if she was out, she ate cheese and milk. She still stayed away from meat and eggs. San applauded her for keeping to her ideals.

"You making your meatless balls, too?" Santana called out from the couch.

"I am."

"Good!"

"And, I've bought some Italian meatballs as well. You and Quinn will have to add them to your plates, because I'm not putting them in the sauce. I'll heat them up in my 'meat' pot just before I'm ready to serve. Is that okay?" Rachel asked her.

"You don't have to do that. I'll eat the others. I am sure that Quinn will too. She doesn't mind doing the vegetarian thing. Just give her some real cheese and she'll be okay."

"I got that, too."

"Cool," Santana replied.

Rachel checked her sauce and turned it down to simmer. She came out into the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch. She was facing Santana and she could tell that the little singer wanted to talk about something before Quinn got there. She knew that she wasn't going to be happy about it, so she figured that she would just talk around it until Rachel had to go back into the kitchen to check on the sauce.

"You know that you are going to have to tell her that you are staying here," Rachel told her.

"I'm sure she knows."

"San..."

"What?"

"She's your best friend. Don't shut her out. She's coming her for you, not for me," Rachel told her.

"I know that."

"Then be friendly."

"I am," San hissed as she reached forward for the remote.

She was channel surfing and she knew it. She was scared about Quinn coming. She wasn't exactly sure why, but then again she was. Quinn was her oldest friend. She had been friends with Quinn in elementary school. Brittany had come along in middle school. She remembered when Quinn was Lucy, but she never brought it up. It was like an unspoken rule between them. Sure, they had their fights, but it was mainly because they called each other out on their bullshit. They knew each other too well not to, and that is why Santana was scared about Quinn coming. She was afraid that Quinn would see through her carefully constructed facade. She wasn't ready for that. She wasn't sure that she would ever be ready for that.

She sighed as she heard the buzzer ring, alerting them that Quinn was downstairs. Because Berry was in the kitchen stirring her sauce, she went to the intercom and buzzed Quinn in. She knew that it would only be a few minutes before her friend was upstairs at Berry's door. She sighed again and walked back over to the couch. She'd unlocked the door before she'd gone back to sit down. She knew that Quinn was smart enough to let herself in.

Quinn came in a few moments later. She stopped beside the couch and dropped her bags. Santana wanted to laugh when she saw the Cheerios duffle bag out of the corner of her eye. She didn't. She just went back to channel surfing, hoping that something would catch her eye drown out the obvious want to talk.

Rachel came out and saw her standing there, but Santana saying nothing. She wiped her hands on towel and motioned for Quinn to come into the kitchen. Quinn stood there awkwardly until Rachel handed her a glass of red wine.

"She doesn't wnat me here," Quinn muttered.

"She doesn't want to be here."

"Has she completely shut down?" Quinn asked.

"Almost."

"Why didn't you call me sooner?"

"It wasn't my place. I've been doing what I can for her. She's basically living here, now. I'm afraid what she will do to herself if she's left alone for too long."

"It's that bad," Quinn questioned as she leaned out to look at her Latina friend.

"I don't know if it is or not. She won't talk to anyone about it. Her boss is trying the case. Her friends are keeping it close to the chest so no one knows it was her that was attacked, but that will only be quiet for so long. She says that she wanted to be alone, that's she's coping, but she ends up in my bed with me every night, cuddling and crying. I know that she has this badass persona that she fronts, but we all know that she wears her heart on her sleeve, Quinn. I don't know what else to do for her. When she told me that you were coming, I was hoping for a miracle, but seeing her out there..."

"I'll talk to her. I don't know what good it'll do, but I'll do what I can. Besides, I have some news for you both. I don't know if it'll be good news or not, but still..."

"At this point, I'm willing to try anything."

"Let's eat and then, I'll talk to her. I'm assuming that I'm going to be in the guest room again," Quinn stated and Rachel nodded. "Let me go put my stuff up and I'll get her to the table. Hopefully she'll eat something."

"I hope so," Rachel said.

Quinn did as she said she would. She took her bags to the guest room. On her way back, she stopped in front of the TV and motioned for Santana to come with her to table. Santana glared at her, but turned the TV off and followed her to the dining area.

Rachel had already served up the plates. She handed them both some regular meatballs. Quinn took a few, but Santana didn't. Quinn watched her. Her eyes never leaving Santana as they ate. The more she saw of her friend, the more worried she became.

Rachel tried several times to start a conversation, but Santana never took the bait. She stayed quiet. She ate her food, which was better than she normally did. And, for that Rachel was grateful. Her depression was obvious and they were trying, but short of forcing to see a councelor again, they knew that she wouldn't go on her own. Rachel hoped that Quinn's presence and hopefully her news would be the push that Santana needed.

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?" she replied over a bite of food.

"You said that you had some news to tell us," Rachel started.

Santana actually looked up at this. She looked over her friend and squinted slightly. It was like she was trying to decide if she was going to like the news before Quinn even told them. Quinn saw this, but decided to tell her anyway. She knew that Santana would question her...more like grill her about the reasons why later, but for now, it would be good to share it.

"I got accepted at Columbia for their doctoral program and I'll be moving to the City by the end of the season. They want me to teach classes, too. I guess being Yale grad with a Masters in Fine Arts from Harvard made me too good to let go. I'm going to need a place to stay while I look for a place near the school. I want to be as close as possible, but who knows in this market? I might be shacking up with your for a while, Rach," Quinn finished with a laugh.

Santana was still staring at her. This was odd news. Quinn was the one that surprised them all when she got to Yale and got her degree in Drama and Literature. She pushed herself to get her Master's at Harvard and stayed in Boston where she'd been writing her books. Going for her doctorate wasn't something that had even discussed. Moving to New York wasn't even on the landscape and now, Quinn was going to be in town. After everything, New York was bringing them back together.

"That's great, Quinn," Rachel told her.

"Good job, Q," Santana actually told her as she pushed back from the table. "I'm going to lay down. Thanks for dinner, Rach."

They watched her go. Quinn's heart sank. She looked over at Rachel and could see the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Let's clean up and then I'll go check on her," Quinn told her.

After everything was cleaned up in the kitchen and the leftovers separated to "Carnivore" and a dated container for Rachel's fridge, Quinn looked back over at the table. They'd finished another bottle of wine, but Santana had hardly drank any. Instead, she'd opted for water. It wasn't a flag in Quinn's eyes, but it gave her pause. She knew how San liked a good wine with dinner. She had since high school.

Rachel pointed towards her bedroom when they were done. Quinn nodded and headed for the room. She stopped at the door and knocked. When she didn't get an answer, she slowly opened the door. Santana wasn't in the bed. She wasn't anywhere in the room that Quinn could see. And, then she heard it. It was a sound that she knew all too well.

She walked quickly to the bathroom after shutting and locking Rachel's bedroom door. She found Santana hanging on the toilet. She immediately dropped to her knees and pulled back San's hair. She knew that San wouldn't meet her eyes. Instead, she quickly tied it up San's hair. She stood up and tore through Rachel's vanity. She found a hair tie and a wash cloth. She wet the cloth and set it on the edge of the vanity, but within hand reach. She used the hair tie to keep San's hair up, putting it in a messy bun. She didn't say anything. She just dropped beside her, rubbing her back and trying to let her know that she was there for her. When San finally backed up a little, Quinn grabbed the wash cloth and handed it to San. Their eyes met.

"San..."

"No."

"Talk to me."

"No."

"San..."

"No."

"So, this is healthier?"

"No."

"Then, let me help."

"Why are you here?"

Quinn looked taken aback. She couldn't believe that San would ask her that. She'd told her that she was coming for the weekend. She hadn't told Santana her news on the phone the other day because things hadn't been finalized and she was honestly still on the fence about it. After talking to Santana and what little she did talk to Rachel about everything, she made her decision. She hadn't lied to Santana when she said that she could work from anywhere. She had a very healthy back account, thanks to her finance classes, but she wanted to be closer to the Santana. Boston was nice, but it was getting lonely now that she wasn't really in school. Trips around the country for book signings and tours were nice, but she wanted to be nearer her friends. Berry included.

"I told you on the phone that I was coming to check on you myself."

"Well, now, you've seen me. You can go. I'm fine. Just stressed. I'll be okay in a few minutes."

"San..."

"No."

"Stay with me tonight, in the other room. Talk to me. I'm not leaving until I know that you are going to be okay. We're family, San. I love you."

That was the straw that broke her. Santana couldn't hold back anymore. She broke and Quinn was there to catch her.

"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up and then we'll go into the guest room. I know that you won't tell Berry everything, but I'm here for you, San. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours. Don't shut us all out. We want you to be okay. We need you to be okay."

Santana wiped her mouth with the cloth and then looked at Quinn. Her dark eyes met Quinn's green-hazel and held. She could see the truth in her eyes. Slowly, she turned her body a little bit towards Quinn. She sank further to the tiled floor. Her back against the vanity, she reached out for Quinn's hand.

Quinn knew what it meant for her to do that. She knew what it took Santana to ask for help. She knew, but she was the same way. They were the HBICs. They ruled everything. Nothing ever got to them. Or if it did, no one could ever know. They weren't allowed to show weakness. And, it was that facade that they had created that caused so much turmoil, pain, and suffering for them both. Quinn got over it with her car wreck. San started cracking with her divorce from Brittany, but she never fully broke. Quinn saw the cracks and they spent the summer together in Cambridge, drinking and partying like they had nothing to lose. Then, school started back up. Quinn went back to Harvard and Santana went back to Columbia for her juris doctorate. They went their ways and the facade started healing for Santana. The cracks were sealed. She threw herself into her studies and then in her case work at the DA's office. Quinn started writing. After everything with Puck, she just hadn't been ready to date, so she hadn't.

"Come on," Quinn said as she pulled Santana up.

She cleaned her up again. Pulling her hair down, she made her look presentable. Going back into the bedroom, she let Santana change. She pulled out a Louisville cheer shirt and a pair of Cheerio sweats. They were both getting threadbare, but Quinn knew that they were comfort clothes. Tonight was going to be a long night for them both, so she wanted Santana as relaxed as she could be.

They unlocked the room and walked across the loft to Rachel's other bedroom. Quinn waved Rachel off and told her that they'd talk in the morning. Rachel just nodded and told them both goodnight.

Once in the other room, Quinn changed quickly. She ushered Santana into the bed, and then got up behind her. San turned on her side, away from Quinn, but facing the bathroom. Quinn could tell that it wasn't just a defensive gesture. It hurt, but she became the big spoon as she held her friend. She hoped that comforting her would get the dialogue going, but she wasn't stupid. If Santana didn't want to talk, she wouldn't. Quinn would just have to be patient.

"I am tired of all the stress, Q."

"I'm sure you are. Have you seen anyone? Have you talked to anyone else about it?"

"Only the shrink, twice because Alex made me before she'd let me work again."

"And, you didn't think about going back?"

"He couldn't help me, Q."

"Why not?"

"He didn't understand. Hell, I don't understand. How could I ask him to help me?"

"You talk to him. That is what he gets paid to do. I am sure that it was crisis counselor, too, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"San...you need to talk to someone if you want talk to us. Maybe talking to someone you don't know will help. I know it helped me at Yale. I didn't feel like I was being judged by someone who already knew me. I pushed passed so much stuff I didn't realize I was carrying."

"Like Beth and your parents?"

"Yeah."

"It helped?"

"A lot," Quinn admitted.

"Alex and Liv gave me a card."

"For someone?"

"Yeah, he used to work for the FBI. He's offering to help me pro bono. And, off official books because he knows how it might look. I don't know if I want to go see him, though."

"Just try. For me. For Rachel. Hell, most of all for yourself."

"I'm scared, Q."

"I know, S. I would be, too, but Berry and I are here to help. I'll move up sooner if you want. I'll stay with you if you want to go back to your place."

"I'm not scared about that."

"Then what?"

"I can't stop being sick. I don't feel like I'm loosing weight, but I feel bad all the time. Sometimes just the smell of food sets me off. I've been sick at work, but I've been hiding it from Alex. If Rachel knew how much I've puked, I doubt she'd let me out of her sight."

Quinn took a deep breath. She didn't want to scare the Latina, but she was about to ask her some really hard questions. Questions that she didn't want to ask, but she needed to. She needed to know, so she could help Santana better.

"San?"

"Yeah?"

"When was your last period?"

"Ew...really? Q? What does that matter?"

"Just answer the question, San."

"A week before the show."

"San, you realize that it was like nine weeks ago, right?"

San's body tensed in her arms. She knew that Santana was trying to calculate things in her head, so she gave her a few minutes. When she didn't say anything else, she pushed just a little bit more.

"San," Quinn started.

"Yeah?"

"Did they give the Plan B pill at the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"Did you take it?"

"Well, no. I didn't think that I'd actually been raped. And, I'm Catholic. You know how I feel about that, Q. I couldn't. I just..."

"Shh...it's okay. We'll go to the store in the morning. We'll check here and then go to a doctor to confirm, okay? We'll deal with this together. Okay? We don't have to tell Berry."

"What do I do if I am, Q? I don't know how to be a mother. Hell, I am not even sure that I want kids, you know? And, to have a kid like this..."

"Shh...we'll deal with that tomorrow. Tonight, we sleep. We talk. We rest. Tomorrow, we'll deal with whatever happens. I'm not going to leave you, San. I know..."

"I know...thank you."

"You're family, San. We take care of each other. Now, go to sleep. I'll keep the bogey man away," Quinn told her as she started to run her fingers through her dark hair.

It only took a few moments before Santana passed out. Quinn wasn't sure if it was from fatigue or her mental state, but either way she was actually sleeping. She held her and promised to protect her. Quinn would continue to do that, and the baby if she had to, until Santana told her to leave. She knew all too well what it was like to be alone and pregnant.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Quinn sat in Rachel's kitchen. It wasn't that early that Saturday morning, but she was surprised that Rachel wasn't already up. She was on her second cup of coffee, and in the already in the Opinions section of the Times, when Rachel came out in a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. Quinn couldn't help but quirk her eyebrow at the tiny diva in approval.

"You're up early," Rachel commented as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Couldn't sleep any longer."

"Anything good in the paper?" Rachel asked.

"Not really, but I haven't got to the arts section. Thought I might take in another play while I'm in town. But, then again, that is going to depend on what Santana feels like doing," Quinn told her.

"She got sick again last night, didn't she?"

"She did, but she didn't want you to know. I thought I got everything cleaned up in your bathroom. Sorry, if I didn't. But, I think that I've got her convinced to go to a doctor to get checked out."

"Do you think that it is stress?"

"I don't know," Quinn lied. "I hope that is all it is, but with Santana, you never know. She's very strong willed, but I know that this affected her more than she wants to admit. I hope that she'll open up more about it. I know you've been trying, but San's a very private person. You know that."

"I do."

"I just don't know how to push her without pushing her this time," Quinn said.

"I don't either. I know that we aren't as close as you two are, but I was hoping that she would talk to me. She hasn't really. Everything that I know about what happened either her boss Alex told me or I figured out on my own from staying with her."

"Does she know about you and Sabine?" Quinn asked her trying to prove a point.

"No, she doesn't."

"Has she been with anyone since the divorce?"

"No, not really."

"What about you? Seeing anyone? And, if you are, does Santana approve?"

"I am not really. My hours are kinda erratic. I need to date someone in the industry, but I can't find anyone outside the musical I'm working on at the moment. I just..."

"What?"

"I want to be there for her, Quinn. I want her to know that even though we aren't the greatest of friends, I can be the person that she comes to when she needs someone. She was there for me when I didn't know who to turn to. Of course, she kinda bullied her way into that position, but I was grateful for her being there in the end. If she hadn't been there..."

"You would have found someone else to talk to, Berry. Kurt or me, but that doesn't matter because she was there for you. She's a good friend like that. And, as annoyed at the fact that the hospital called you, I am sure that she was grateful for you coming to get her. I am sure it meant a lot to her to have a friendly face there for her, even if you did threaten to call us Gleeks in to help her," Quinn stated.

"She never told you about what happened after Shue's non-wedding?" Rachel asked her.

"What do you mean she never told me? I was there. I remember distinctly what happened."

"No, I mean with me. She never told you? I thought you told each other everything."

"Wait, what? Something happened with you at the non-wedding? Did you ever tell me about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I was ashamed of it," Rachel told her.

Quinn cocked her eyebrow and smirked. She could tell what ever it was something more drastic than Rachel almost doing the nude scene for the indie film project for a senior. So, if Santana ran intervention then and didn't call her, it might have been something that even Santana thought shouldn't be broadcast among all the Gleeks and Quinn knew that there were only so many things that included.

"Ok...do you know what doctor she sees?" Quinn inquired changing the subject.

"No, she's hardly ever sick. And, when she is, she uses her Abuela's home remedies, which scarily work and very quickly. I guess that is why her being sick scares me so much."

"I'll talk to her, Rach. I'll get her to see someone. I don't know how, but I'll do it. She said something about she was supposed to see someone yesterday. That she promised you or something."

"She did, but I didn't want to push her too much because you were coming down."

Quinn picked up her cup of coffee and drank some before looking back at Rachel. She was curious, but now wasn't the time to bring up past problems. They needed to be there for Santana.

"When did she finally go to sleep?" Rachel asked as she got up to get another cup of coffee and refill Quinn's cup again.

"I think it was after three, but I wasn't wearing a watch, so I really don't know."

"She's not been sleeping well."

"Nightmares?"

"Partially. Some nights, I think that she just can't get comfortable. And, before you ask, it doesn't matter if it's here or her place. I've tried singing her to sleep, warm milk, relaxation techniques, even massaging, but nothing seems to work."

"I know how she feels," Quinn murmured remember the first few months that she was pregnant with Beth.

"What?"

"Nothing," Quinn quickly answered.

"You want to ask me, don't you?"

"Ask you what exactly?"

"What Santana didn't tell you," Rachel stated.

"It was obviously something that you didn't want me to know. She's loyal like that. She's kept more secrets than she's told. Even when we hate each other, we still look out for each other. It's just how we work. I know that she thinks of all us, Gleeks as family. She'd help any of us out if we needed it, but she would use snark and sarcasm the entire time. It's just who she is."

"I know."

"I just want her to be happy, Quinn. I don't think that she's been happy since the divorce and who could blame her. But, then this happens... I feel like its my fault for not pushing her more to move with Brittany," Rachel told her.

"She didn't go, Rach, because she didn't want to go to LA. She's happy working here. Sure, she could have gone to LA and worked for the DA there, but she likes the way New York moves. The City suits her and she suits it. Brittany is an LA girl. She was made to dance and tour. Santana let her go because she loves her."

"I know she still loves her, but I can't imagine just letting her go like that..."

"Yes, you can," Quinn answered.

"Why do you say that?"

"The same reason that I can. You let Finn go and he came back, but then he died. I left Puck, but he came back for me. And, then he died in the war. We both let those we love go because it wasn't the right time for us to be together. Brittany and Santana have always had this push pull love. They break up, and get back together. They're kinda like magnets. But, I think this time..."

"They aren't going to get back together?" Rachel finished for her.

"I doubt it. Santana is a fierce and passionate lover. She is so giving almost to the point of masochism, but she doesn't care. She is actually a very selfless lover. You just have to get passed the scratchy and bitchy exterior to see it," Quinn told her.

She stopped there and took another sip of coffee. Rachel's mouth was hanging open as she looked over at Quinn. When she finally dropped the paper to the table, she saw the look on Rachel's face. It was then that she realized what she'd actually said.

"What?" Quinn asked as she sat down her cup of coffee.

"Oh...my...Barbra...you've slept with Santana!"

"Well, yeah, I thought everyone knew that."

"No, we didn't," Rachel said, with a small huff.

"Well, Sam knew...but that may have been because I told him. Anyway, does that matter? It doesn't really change anything between the three of us, does it?"

"Well, no, I guess not."

"You guess?" Quinn asked with a cock of her eyebrow and a quirky smile.

"I just..."

"Don't worry about it, Berry. It's old news, like Shue's non-wedding night old news. I might have dabbled a little more at Yale, but then I went back to Puck. If I go after someone to be my lover, it would be another man. But, I can't say that I've never discounted going after San again, until she married Brittany. We were the Unholy Trinity, but something about being with San after they married just seemed wrong to me. She's more like a sister to me, now," Quinn explained.

"I am just wondering what Santana really wants. You were her best friend with Brittany and she's slept with both of you. I'm her best friend and I doubt that she'd ever looked at me like that," Rachel stated.

"Don't feel bad. I don't think we would have slept together had we not been a little drunk, lonely, and on my part wanting to see what the big deal about sleeping with a woman was about. Thankfully, things weren't weird between us after. We're still friend. Time and distance hurt us more than that ever could have. But, now, I hope to rectify that since I'll be in town now," Quinn told her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be worried about that right now. We should be worried more about Santana. I just...I'm sorry. I got lost in my own thoughts."

"No worries, Rachel. I know that this has been hard for you, too. She doesn't open up easily and you two have been friends since she moved in with you and Kurt. I get it. I was a little jealous of you for a while until I realized that Santana wasn't replacing Britt and me with you and Kurt. She was just trying to survive here. She needed someone that knew her and would be on her side. I was proud of her for finally letting down some of her walls to let you and Kurt in. After coming up here to see y'all, I realized that she was happy and cared for. That was all I wanted and I knew that you were here when I couldn't be. You were what she needed. You pushed her to go back to school when I couldn't. I was so wrapped up in myself at Yale, that I didn't see what was going on with her at the time. You did and you stepped up to help her. Like you are doing now. She might not tell you, but I know that she appreciates it," Quinn explained.

"Was that the shower?" Rachel asked.

Quinn got up and walked across the apartment back to the guest room. She turned back around and nodded at Rachel. She went into the kitchen and began to raid the fridge. Rachel didn't say anything as Quinn started making them some sort of breakfast. She just smiled at Rachel while she made bacon and eggs, surprised that the diva actually had the real thing in the fridge to begin with. By the time that she was done making bacon, fakon, eggs, and vegan pancakes.

She was plating it all when Santana made her way to the table. She grabbed the finance part of the paper and sat down. Quinn handed her a cup of coffee, doctored very little, to Santana's liking and then sat down at the table.

"I'm going home today, Rachel," Santana told her as she turned the page of the paper and went back to reading.

Rachel knew that it was Santana's way of dealing with stress. She didn't want to deal with it, so she wouldn't. Rachel was a little hurt, but Quinn had prepared her for that. She just smiled as she ate her breakfast. Quinn however was a little taken aback by San's nonchalance about it all. She wanted to say something to San about it, but she caught the look in Rachel's eyes and the shake of her head.

"Since we're going back to your place tonight, San, is there something that you wanted to do today?" Quinn asked instead, hoping that it would get Santana to actually engage them.

"I don't know. We could do something touristy, but I doubt that you want to be around that many people. Is there something that you want to go do?" Santana asked her.

Quinn sat her fork down. She didn't want to but she knew that she was glaring at Santana. She was closing up. She'd opened up to her last night, but now in the light of day, she was rebuilding those walls. Quinn knew that as soon as she got her alone that she'd be able to get through them again, easily, but this wasn't fair to Rachel.

"Not really. I thought we could go take in another show, but I know that it might be hard to get tickets this late for a show tonight. Besides, I've already seen the city. You've both taking me out and shown me the sites on my visits. I thought we could do something that you wanted to do, San," Quinn tried again, hoping that she would take the bait.

"I need to go to the office and pick up some files," San replied.

It wasn't much, but it was start. Quinn decided to roll with it. Getting San to interact with people more was going to be hard, but she hoped that it would help. If they had to start with her office, Quinn would be on board for it.

"I haven't seen your office, so that'd be cool."

"Okay, I'll go get dressed," San replied as she put the paper down on the table.

She stood up and took her plate to the sink. She dumped the little bit that she hadn't eaten. She was worried that she'd throw it up later, and she didn't want to think about it. She knew that having something on her stomach was better than nothing. Plus she had actually been hungry. She knew better than to push it, but she knew that Rachel and Quinn would say something to her if she didn't eat enough for them. Happy with herself and the situation for now, she left the plate in the sink after rinsing it and went back to the guest room to change.

"Well, she's closed off again."

"She's still frightened, Quinn. She doesn't know what to do. She's pushing us away."

"Well, she should know that I'm as stubborn as she is. We both are. We aren't going to let her do this to herself again. I am not going to let her suffer alone," Quinn declared.

"Good."

"Okay, so what are we going to do?"

"I thought you were going to take her back to her place and talk to her?"

"I will, but we need to united in this, Rach."

"Well, then, we'll just have to talk to each other more often. We need to make sure that we each do what we can for her. We need to let her know that she isn't alone. And, we need to make sure that she knows that she can call us for anything, anytime, and one of us needs to be available at all times," Rachel told her.

"I guess that means that you take days and I'll take nights."

"Sounds good."

"I need to go get dressed," Quinn stated.

"Take care of her, Quinn."

"I am going to do my damnedest, Rach. I am not going to let her suffer anymore. And, hopefully, I can get her to go see someone, too," Quinn told her.

"Good luck with that. You're going to need it. Don't worry about me. I'll do somethings I need to do around the loft and if you...she decides that she wants to be social, call me and I'll come over for dinner. I don't want to crowd her. I just want her to be our Santana again. And, I know that it might take awhile for that to happen, but ..." Rachel started.

"I know, Rach. I know. I'll talk to her. I'll see what I can do. Our friendship is different than yours. With me, it'll be like how she is with you and I think she needs that. She needs your support and softness as much as she needs my stubbornness and brashness. She is about to get a dose of her own medicine," Quinn told her as she cleaned up her plate.

"Don't worry about the dishes. I'll handle it. The only thing that you should be worried about is Santana, today," Rachel told her as she moved towards the sink.

Quinn gave her a nod and left the kitchen. When she got to the guest room, Santana was sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked upset and angry. Quinn didn't want to push her, but she wanted to know what was wrong.

"Have a nice chat with Berry about me?" San almost hissed at her.

"We did talk about you, but only because we're worried about you."

"This is exactly why I didn't want either of you to know about this."

"San..."

"No, Quinn...just no. This is not your problem. I am not your problem to take care of," Santana told her.

"What if I make you my problem?"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you, Santana Diabla Lopez," Quinn stated simply.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was later that evening when Santana and Quinn were lounging in her living room. Santana was working on cases and Quinn was reading Alice in Wonderland, again. They had talked until Santana was talked out. She agreed to let Quinn stay with her and watch her. She still felt a little nauseous, but she had taken to sipping on some ginger ale. Of course she knew that Quinn was watching her more than she was reading, but she was just glad for the quiet company tonight.

They were both so lost in thought and what they were doing that the knock on the door startled them both. Quinn quickly set down her book and patted Santana on the knee as she stood up from the couch. She crossed the room to the front door. Looking through the peephole, she saw Alex and Liv.

"It's your friends from the precinct," Quinn told her.

"Let them in," Santana replied as she straightened up what she was working on before tossing the file onto the coffee table.

Quinn could tell that Santana was a little on edge, but she didn't say anything. The last few days at her house had been quiet. Each of them quietly reflecting how they felt about the situation. Quinn giving her room to breathe and sort out what she wanted to do. She figured that she owed Santana a lot for helping her get her head on right after everything with Beth. This was a way for her to repay her, but there was more to it than that. They were friends, family, and gleeks together. When they both saw the results on the pregnancy tests, all three of them, Quinn resolved to move to New York before the end of the month. Santana would welcome her and was going to let her stay at her apartment even though it was small. Rachel hadn't been told yet and San knew that as soon as she was, Rachel would advocate for Quinn to take her guest room until she found a place of her own.

Alex and Liv slowly made their way into the apartment. They looked from Quinn to Santana and back again. They hadn't really met Quinn, but both of them knowing Santana's preference for blondes, wondered if there was more they didn't know.

"Have a seat," Santana told them.

Alex sat on the love seat across from her and looked down at the coffee table. She saw the case files and then a look of defiance in San's eyes. She wisely didn't say anything as she got a little more comfortable.

When Quinn and San realized that Liv was holding bags, she was escorted towards the kitchen. Quinn helped her set them down and then they both went back into the living room. Quinn could see that Alex and Santana were already at an impasse and decided that she was the one that was going to have to break the ice and get the evening moving forward. She sat down next to San as Liv sat down next to Alex.

"I think that I should introduce myself. I'm Quinn Fabray, Santana's best friend, and member of the Unholy Trinity. It's good to finally put some faces to the names that Rachel and San have been dropping," Quinn stated.

"Good to meet you," Alex stated.

"What brings you by?" Santana finally asked, realizing that she wasn't going to get out of whatever discussion was about to take place.

"Just wanted to check on you since I've been letting you work from home. I see that you've brought some cases home. Anything that I need to be worried about? Or, anything that I can help you with?" Alex questioned.

"Nope, I am good."

Liv just watched her. She saw the slight movements. She reaching for Quinn that she didn't want to be noticed. They way she leaned towards Quinn for protection and comfort. She could see how Santana was no longer comfortable in her own home. Quinn might be helping her cope, but she still had a long way to go before she would be really healed. Liv had seen it all. She knew it took time, but it still looked like Santana was fighting the knowledge of what happened.

"Still having nightmares?" Liv asked, not caring to sugar coat anything.

"Yes."

"Quinn being here with you helping?" Liv inquired.

"Yes."

"Have you called Huang?" Alex questioned.

"He hasn't told you I have, has he?" Santana countered.

"He wouldn't either way, doctor patient privilege and all that. So, have you?" Alex inquired.

"No, she hasn't, but she will. I promise you she will. Even if I have to do it for her," Quinn quickly answered before she turned to Santana and continue. "Don't San. You promised you'd talk to someone the other day."

"Fine, I'll call him tomorrow," San stated.

"Ladies, can I ask you a question?" Quinn started, not caring that San was now glaring at her.

"Sure," Alex stated.

"Is there a clinic nearby that I could go to? I haven't been feeling well and I don't want to wait for some appointment with a doctor. I know that I can get in and out of clinic quickly. I'll find something a little better later."

"Q..."

"San..."

Liv and Alex looked at each other and then back to the younger women. Liv watched how they were interacting. It was habit. She saw the way that Santana was trying to hide behind Quinn and she saw the way that Quinn was will to protect her even if it meant calling her out. There was a strange dynamic between them, but it worked. She could see how much Quinn cared for her in her eyes. And, that is when Liv realized that the question wasn't for Quinn but for Santana. She looked at her harder and then gasped.

"How long?" Liv asked.

"How long what?" Alex asked looking at them all.

"We don't know," Quinn stated.

"I've got some clinics you can go to. I'll text San the information. Go tomorrow and let me know."

"We will," Quinn answered.

"What's going on?" Alex asked.

"I'll explain it later," Liv told her.

"No."

"San?"

"Just tell her," Santana stated.

"Are you sure?" Liv asked.

"She's going to find out anyway. I haven't had a choice in any of this. Why should this news be any different?" Santana inquired as she stood up.

Quinn was immediately on her feet and following her to the bedroom. She could hear Alex and Liv talking in hushed tones as she gathered San into her arms. She didn't know what to say. She was just trying to help. They needed to know how far along she was. It was still early. There were things that could be done. She didn't know if Santana would do them, but they needed to get her care.

"San?"

"What?"

"Don't alienate them."

"Why not? They aren't family. They don't know me. They don't know what it means to be a gleek or a member of the Unholy Trinity."

"Yeah, they are your family. They are your work family. They are the ones looking for the bastard that did this. They are the ones who are supporting you at work and keeping your identity a secret. Don't do this to them. This isn't their fault. I know you are hurting, but don't take it out on them. If you feel the need to lash out, do it to me. I can take it. I know how hard you hit. So, we can do this the hard way or you can control it. Take back your control. Talk to them and tell them what's going on. I'll deal with the fallout and help pick you back up, but you have to agree that they need to know, too," Quinn explained.

Santana hung her head. Quinn reached out and tipped it back up. She gave her a watery smile.

"I know that you didn't ask for this, but you've got all of us in your corner, San. Don't back down now. Stand up and fight back. I know you can. Take back control over your life. Start now and don't give up. You know that you've got me and Berry behind you. What would it hurt to have them, too?" Quinn asked her.

San didn't answer her. Instead, she did something that she rarely did. She showed emotion. She moved into Quinn and hugged her. They embraced for several minutes, until San got herself back together.

"Now, we're going to go back out there and talk to them. You can tell them as much as you want to. But, tomorrow, we're going to the clinic that Liv is giving me the information for. I'll pay the bill so it doesn't hit your insurance. Once the pregnancy is confirmed, then we'll talk options. Until then, we don't need to be stressing so much."

"You're right."

"I know I am. But, you need to tell me who Huang is? Why did they ask you about calling him? What can he do for you?" Quinn questioned.

"He's a former FBI agent and shrink that worked with Liv and Alex before. He's quit the FBI and now is working in counseling. He gave Alex his card when he found out that a DA was attacked. He's offering his services for free and he'll keep it all confidential. No one but Alex would know that I am seeing him."

"And you haven't called him yet because?"

"I don't ..."

"Don't what, San? Don't want to look weak? Going to see him won't make you weak. It just means that you are looking for help with something that you can't do on your own. There is nothing wrong with that. Even the best of us need someone outside the situation to speak to sometimes. I know I did. How do you think that Berry and I became such good friends. Sure, she had an invested interest in things, but when she didn't, her advice was very good and very helpful. She'll helped me through a lot in school. I am sure that she did the same for you, San. But this is bigger than us. You need someone that knows how to handle this. If he can, then let him," Quinn urged her.

"I'm broken."

"You're not broken, San. You're a little bent, but you haven't broken. Santana Diabla Lopez will never break. Just like Lucy Quinn Fabray hasn't."

"You'll go with me?" San asked.

"If you want me, I will," Quinn answered.

"Okay," Santana replied quietly.

"You ready to go back in there?"

"I guess," she said as she pulled away a little from Quinn.

They both stood there for a minute or two more. Quinn knew that San was gathering herself. She hadn't seen her this upset since the divorce, but she understood. She was willing to go at San's pace. This was her problem and honestly San was the only one who could conquer it. Everyone else would just have to sit back and wait for her to do it. They could support her, but they couldn't defeat the demons in San's head. The fact that San was willing to go see someone mean that she was admitting that there were demons. Quinn knew what that meant for her friend to admit. She knew how strong San liked to appear and how self-reliant she was. This was a big step and it was going to help her start making strides to heal.

Just before they re-entered the living room, San's phone beeped. Quinn looked at it for her. It was from Liv. She'd sent her the list of clinics to visit. When Quinn showed the list to San, she saw her Latina friend deflate more.

"Don't worry, San. I'll go with you. If you don't feel comfortable at a clinic, we'll call a real doctor."

"No, the clinic is fine. It is just all becoming too real. The more time that passes, the more complicated and more real everything becomes."

"Don't worry about any of that. At least, no right now. Let's just get through everything one day at a time. We'll attack it like it was a cheer," Quinn told her.

"A cheer, really?"

"Each element had to be broken down and learned before we could try the sequence as a whole. We need to work on small things and in the end, you'll see how we tackled this big ass cloud of doubt and uncertainty surrounding you. You'll see. Little by little we'll break it down and conquer it like we used to Sue's crazy cheers. And, instead of the Unholy Trinity, we're going to be the Lawless Five?"

"Sounds, good," Liv stated from the doorway. "Sorry. Didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was getting worried about you, San."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize. You're allowed to be frightened, scared, and very antisocial. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Thanks, Liv."

"So, you want to go to a clinic?"

"Told you she figure it out," San said to Quinn, when they both knew that the words hadn't been said.

"We want to make sure," Quinn replied.

"How many tests have you taken?"

"Three," San answered.

"And?"

"All positive," Quinn supplied.

"I'll call Melinda."

"I don't want anyone else to know," Santana stated.

"She'll be working with the lab to help process your kit from the hospital, Lopez. She can come by, get what she needs, and be on her way. She'll keep it confidential and she'll run everything herself."

"San, do it. You know her. You trust her. And, she'll keep it off the books," Quinn stated.

"Call her," San relented.

"You're gonna have to tell Alex," Liv told her.

"I know."

"Like now. Go do that. I'll call Melinda. Quinn can go with you. Everything will be okay, San. We'll get the bastard. That's my problem. Alex will get him convicted. That's her problem. You just got to take care of you for once. And, I can see that Quinn here and your Broadway friend will both be here to support you. I know that you want to do so much and get involved as much as you can. And, Alex and I will let you where you can. The healing and the coping are up to you. This is just part of it."

"Okay, then, what else do I have to do?" San asked her.

"First you have to accept that you were attacked and violated. Then, you have to resolve that just because you are a victim, your life isn't over. Next, you try to find somehow to deal with the pain, nightmares and everything else. The biggest thing you have to remember is that part one is the hardest. Parts two and three don't have a definitive timeline. It is up to you and the support group in which you surround yourself with. And, don't forget that Alex will give you off anytime that you need. She'll even cover for you."

"I know."

"We are doing everything in our power to keep your name out of it. Fin and I are the only ones working the case. It's hard because we don't have a lot to go on. We've established a timeline, San. We've combed for evidence. We're waiting on the kit to processed completely. I'm sure that we have enough on this guy. He's not going to get away with it. I need you to take care of you, Santana. You know what survivors go through. You know the heartache and the mental anguish. You've seen it first hand. Alex is doing everything to keep the speculation of bias off the case. She's gonna nail him, San. You just have to let us do what we have to do and you have to deal with yourself. You are strong. You know what the process is going to be. You can do this."

"I know. I get it. I do. It's all too much..."

"I know that, but I need you to be that pigheaded, fiery Latina that walked into the 1-6 and demanded to talk to me because I was the commanding officer. Can you do that? Can you bring her back and fight back?" Liv asked her.

"I'll see if I can find her," San replied.

"You do that."

"I'll help you, Bitch," Quinn said with a smile on her face, hoping the levity would lighten the mood.

"Tubbers..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Come on. Let's go talk to Alex. I am sure she's freaking out about us all being gone," Santana said as she turned to go back into the other room.

Liv and Quinn stayed back for a minute. Watching her leave, they waited until she was out of earshot. Quinn could tell that Liv had more questions, as did she. She admired Liv and what she stood for. She was just waiting to see what the detective had to say.

"She's gonna need you," Liv started.

"I know."

"What about Little Miss Broadway?"

"Berry? No worries there. As soon as she knows what's going on, she'll be on San like white on rice. She won't have a chance to shake her. And, honestly, she needs it. Berry has been there for her since the divorce. I maybe her best friend, but there is still a distance between us. She put her walls back up and I'm doing my damnedest to break them back down. I know Berry is helping, too, but Santana is prickly like a cactus on good days. With the attack..."

"She's gonna be worse?"

"Yes."

"At least you know that."

"I do. I really do. It is going to be worse than when she was outed in high school."

"What about the baby?" Liv asked her.

"I don't know. I know that she's very Catholic when she wants to be. We've talked about it...some, but I honestly don't know how she feels about it. That is why I want to take her to a doctor. I want to make sure that she's actually pregnant and it isn't her body doing strange shit because of the attack, you know?"

"I get it."

"Thank you for calling Berry that night," Quinn stated.

"She was still listed as her emergency contact. We needed someone to be there for her. We weren't sure how she was going to react to us. And, in all honesty, if Rachel hadn't shown up, I am sure that San would be spiraling worse than she is now."

"I know she would be," Quinn replied.

"Tubbers, quit talking about me and bring Benson back to her wife so we can go get food!"

"Tubbers?" Liv asked quietly.

"I had a kid in high school."

"Ah."

"Gave her up to Berry's bio Mom. Lots of drama. Not sure why Berry forgave me for that, but she loves Beth like she was her real little sister and I love her for that. Beth got a good home, here in New York, and I got to be high school kid. Thankfully, Shelby lets me see her and spend time with her. Beth knows who I am, but she knows that Shelby is her real mother."

"So, you'll be able to help through it if she is..."

"I'm moving here. So, yeah, I'll be here for her. Pregnant or not, I'm going to be by her side until she kicks me out," Quinn stated.

"I wish all my victims had someone like you in their corner."

"The world wouldn't know what to do with more than one of me. Trust me. I'm just as bad as San is, if not worse, sometimes," Quinn replied.


End file.
